I've added a a bunch of new photos, including some from the wedding in the photo gallery. More photos from the wedding will be added as I correct them. The exposure seems to be a bit off in most of them. Bummer.

So the wedding is set to happen on Saturday, April 25 at 4:30pm in Gordon Head at 4411 Shore Way. Y'all are invited, s'long as I know you. No gifts, please. Nibbles will be provided. If you need driving directions you can use the following Google map:


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I've recently started some treatments using traditional Chinese medicine to try to resolve numerous joint and soft tissue pains that have been increasing in number and intensity over the past year. I've had to take a break from kickboxing and most other high-impact activities to aid in recovery.

Since starting this treatment program (comprising cupping, acupuncture, and herbal treatments) I've noticed a reduction in pain in my shoulders, reduced pain and smoother motion in my wrists, and fewer aches and pains. Treatment has started on my right Achilles tendon, which has been very sensitive to direct pressure for the past few months. That pain is probably keeping me back the most.

At the root of all these ailments is damage to my kidneys, possibly caused by a bike accident a couple of years ago and too much Advil over the years. I've stopped having bike accidents and ceased taking any pain killers, as well as taking better care of my kidneys. Hopefully, I can slide into middle age painlessly.

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

Sit-ups are out for the next while.

While doing roundhouse kicks this past week at KB class, The foot that was still attached to the ground slipped (damn shin pads) and I went down hard on my tailbone. Maybe cracked it, maybe not. Short story: I hurt my bum. I was fine during last night's class until I attempted to go from an on-my-back position to standing without using my hands. That entailed* rolling onto my tailbone. I didn't realize what I was doing until I felt the blast of pain and rolled over onto my side.

The rest of the night comprised mostly of getting kicked in the sternum by Brent, who managed to drill me quite well a few times with his heel. I also got to be Cassie's demonstration dummy; she seems to get some form of joy by hitting me. :>)

Jackie will be starting at the bakery this Sunday as my new assistant and cookie baker. She also takes KB class, so we'll be able to spar while baking. I'll also be quite happy to have a reduced workload.

Time to wash down some Advil with beer.



* no pun intended

A registrar I used to register domains with recently collapsed amidst allegations of fraud, misappropriation of funds, liposuction, and other unsavoury things (see www.registerflies.com ). One of the results was that I was unable to renew the domain for my revenue-generating website, classicreader.com, and lost control of the domain for about 4 days. I've managed to transfer it to another registrar and have regained control, albeit after losing income during that time.

To compound the problem, Google indexed the site during this time and now has in its cache the placeholder page of my former registrar. This means that every page that Google has indexed is identical. I can expect a sharp drop in traffic due to this and will probably have to wait a couple of months before things get back to normal.

This further convinces me to keep my day job, even though it usually pays less.

This coming year is going to be one of change, taking the experiences I've had this year and taking lessons from them. One of the big lessons I learned is from my experience with Marcella. I don't like the person I was, being accommodating to the extent that my needs weren't met (nor did I express them clearly) not establishing boundaries and enforcing them, and becoming angry and resentful because of it. Mind you, the responsibility doesn't lie entirely on my shoulders; it also took the active participation of Marcella to get to that dynamic. One thing does entirely rests upon me, though, and that thing is the means to change the way I interact with others and, just as importantly, with myself.

I've come a long way in the past 5 or so years, going from a sense of self-loathing and a feeling of worthlessness to forgiveness and acceptance, rebuilding my sense of self and trying to make up for all the time I've lost. One aspect of myself that I'm coming to accept is that I'm an introverted person, always have been, and that I need to work with it rather than fight against it. That's been the focus of one of my great struggles: trying not to be so inward-focused. The fact that I hadn't had much success caused me a great amount of frustration. Now that I've learned that it's an innate, immutable part of me I can embrace it rather than try to change it. I'm not likely to ever be the loud, boisterous guy at the centre of the action. That may change in time but it has to be a natural progression and not one that is forced.

I was recently pointed in the direction of the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy," by Robert Glover, which covers what is termed the "Nice Guy Syndrome." I haven't read it yet but it does touch upon many of the things I've noticed, and become concerned about, in myself and my behaviour:

...Nice Guys are concerned about looking good and doing it "right." They are happiest when they are making others happy. Nice guys avoid conflict like the plague and will go to great lengths to avoid upsetting anyone. In general, Nice Guys are peaceful and generous. ...

...The Nice Guy Syndrome represents a belief that if Nice Guys are "good," they will be loved, get their needs met, and live a problem-free life. When this life strategy fails to produce the desired results--as it often does--Nice Guys usually just try harder, doing more of the same. Due to the sense of helplessness and resentment this pattern inevitably produces, Nice Guys are often anything but nice.

-- (excerpt) Introduction, No More Mr. Nice Guy, Robert Glover

For those who aren't familiar with me, the past year has seen me give a job and housing to a new friend (Marcella), most likely because I had a crush on her. It was a pretty flimsy foundation to rest a decision upon and I allowed hormones to override my better sense. Short story, after over 5 months I asked for rent and she moved out (although she kept working with me at the bakery for another 2 1/2 months). As stated previously, the fact that my needs weren't met and that I was feeling used made me feel resentful towards Marcella. I don't think I was very nice towards her in the last few months we spent together. I wasn't that I was overtly mean towards her; it was more of a coldness, shutting her out from my heart. A realization I've had is that Marcella is simply another wounded soul making her way through life using her own survival mechanisms. I can either choose to focus on all the things that went wrong or I can focus on the positive lessons I can take from the experience. I've chosen the latter.

I gave online dating a try this summer without very much luck, albeit I didn't try very hard. I learned not to have too many expectations from this venue. The concept is the reverse of what it is in real life: in real life, you date someone you already know you're attracted to and then get to know them better. With online dating, you spend time getting to "know" someone through email, IMs, phone calls, etc., before actually meeting in person and discovering if there is a mutual attraction, or "chemistry." When there's no chemistry it ends there, regardless of how much you've come to "know" the other person.

Some of the changes for the new year are going to be along the lines of practical, "mainstream," things like finally acquiring my drivers license (I've already started this one). January 1st will also mark the end of the wild displays of colour on my head. It hasn't been a true expression of myself but, rather, a flashing neon sign that said "Look at me!" It did help to force me to interact to some extent but I feel it's run its course. I'll be shaving my head on New Year's Eve and going "normal." I'm going to stop trying to be different. The key word being "trying." Being different is simply natural; we're all different in our own unique way. Trying to be different, however, is attempting to be something or someone you're not.

I'm also pledging to remain single for 2007 or at least not seek someone else. I want to spend the year working on myself, expanding my skills and learning new ones, establishing new friendships, and finding things I can be passionate about. I cannot present my whole, true myself to someone else if I'm not sure myself who that person is.

Basically, I'm going to raise my head and explore my world, explore my self.

I just attended my first kickboxing class last night (after a 12-hour baking day) and I must say I'm feeling it today. Things were stretched that I didn't even know I had. It's the first time I've been sore everywhere. So sore, in fact, that I decided to go on a 10km trail-run today in the pouring rain. When will I learn.

Oh well, the pain will go away just in time to do it again later this week.

A good thing leading to a bad outcome? That may be the result of federal food labelling requirements.

Recently, the bakery I work at was visited by a couple of inspectors from the Canada Food Inspection Agency. They're purpose there was to check the labelling of the products and ensure they conformed to federal labelling requirements. Specifically, they require nutritional information be provided on the label.

I'm sure the aim of all of this is to better inform the consumer about what they are eating but there is a cost for this and that may be increased concentration of food production into large agribusiness and industrial food production. In other words, more bland, standardized, processed foods with dubious nutritional value. Factory Food.

The reason for this is the cost to the producer of having a nutritional analysis performed for each of their products. This cost, which can range up to $500 per analysis, is a minor expense for the larger food producers, but it can be a huge added expense for the smaller producers, possibly tipping them over the edge.

Take the bakery I work at as an example: we have two bakers producing all the products, which number about 20, making it a fairly modest operation. Having a nutritional analysis performed for all of those products could cost up to $10,000. Added to this burden is the fact that it would have to be redone each time a recipe was modified, or a new product devised.

My greater concern is the separation of the consumers, that's us, from food production and distribution. Food is the stuff that keeps us alive, keeps us healthy, but more and more it's production is in the hands of a few large corporations. It's mechanized, dehumanized, industrialized. The food is produced to meet the needs of the industry rather than the people who will actually eat it. Try comparing a commercially-produced tomato, with it's thick skin and nearly tasteless flesh, designed to survive long-distance transport, with one produced by someone who cares, with deep red, richly-flavoured flesh. There is no comparison.

Centralized production also brings with it centralized contamination. witness the recent contamination of spinach with the E. Coli bacteria. What would have been at one time a localized, isolated case now gets spread nation-wide.

This is a topic that is still developing in my mind so I'll be writing more about it as it percolates through my head. In the meantime, insist on purchasing food that is produced locally by small producers who actually care about the product they're selling.

sometimes you have to have the strength to break down.
the courage to bring down your defenses.
be crushed by a feather.

To me, one of the most depressing thoughts I can come up with is the thought of having my life figured out. I mean it in the way of having a plan.

Over the summer, I tried out the online dating scene and the first person I met had a life plan. You know what I mean: life is centered on the house, the cats, and the career. Other than the occasional accident or unexpected surprise, life is simply A to B. Life is scripted. What's the point?

One of the things that make life enjoyable is not knowing what's around the corner. The mystery of it all. If you already know how it's going to turn out why bother to stick around for it? It's like watching a suspense movie while, the whole time, knowing the how it ends.

Sometimes not knowing what's around life's corner can result in being blindsided, but that's part of what makes it so exciting, what gives life its spicy flavour.

That's my bit for now. I have to introfuce myself to a certain lady that recently caught my eye at my favourite coffee joint.

I created a new website based on my classic lit site, classicreader.com, using the same database of books but with a somewhat different presentation, such as a simpler layout and books broken down into pages rather than chapters. I want to try out some ideas on it without the risk of annoying the regular users of Classic Reader. The site can be viewed at ClassicBooks.ca

I spent a few days in town (Victoria) and loaded up on some new music from artists I currently listen to and some new ones. Beck's new album (The Information) is a hit with me and I thought the concept of being able to create your own album cover with the included stickers as a brilliant one, although most of the stickers have actually ended up covering my laptop. New artists (to me, that is) that I'm trying out: Sebadoh, Broken Social Scene, White Stripes, Kings of Convenience, Wolf Parade, Superchunk, and Yo La Tengo. I've filled out my collection of Pavement and The Mountain Goats (loved "No Children" on the Tallahassee album).